Sex Guide for Him and Her

Please talk to your healthcare provider if you have any medical questions or concerns. The articles on are based on peer-reviewed research and information from medical societies and governmental agencies. However, they should not be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

CHAPTER 1 – Top 5 Pelvic Floor Exercises for Men for Better Sex

Biceps and six-pack? No, the real hero is the potency muscles. If this is well-trained, the stability of the penis can be significantly increased and lengthened and ejaculation can be delayed. You can find out here why this is the case and what the best exercises are for a strong potency muscle!

What does pelvic floor training do for men?

A trained and athletic body is a natural magnet for women – that’s no secret. However, what few people know is that with the right exercises, you can increase not only physical endurance but also the strength and length of your erection.

The potency muscles are responsible for this. This is anchored in the pelvic floor and is responsible for blood being pumped into the penis and staying there.¹ The resulting increased blood flow can strengthen and lengthen an erection.² In addition, it is easier to delay ejaculation with a well-trained potency muscle. The reason for this lies in the pelvic floor training itself: Here the ejaculation reflex is suppressed and you learn to hold out longer.

Studies have shown that regular training of the pelvic floor muscles can improve erection in the long term and even counteract erectile dysfunction.³ In general, the pelvic floor is considered to be a very important instrument for good sex, both in women⁴ and in men⁵. A healthy pelvic floor relaxes during intercourse and tightens as orgasm approaches. The following applies The stronger the pelvic floor is trained, the better and more intense the sex.

Your training for a strong pelvic floor

With regular pelvic floor training, you can sustainably improve your ability to have an erection and even fight erectile dysfunction.⁶

With pelvic floor training, as with all other sports exercises, you have to keep one thing in mind: muscles can only grow if there is a lot of tension followed by relaxation. You should therefore build in rest breaks after training – otherwise, in the worst case, you can even get hemorrhoids.

In addition, the following also applies here: A lot does not always help a lot. Don’t exercise too often or for too long, exercise on a regular basis.

We have compiled the best pelvic floor exercises for men. Follow the instructions and get ready for longer and better sex. Good luck!

Exercise ➀ – Tilt the pelvis

Tilt the pelvis

Step 1 – Stand upright and straight

Step 2 – Slightly stretch your buttocks backward

Step 3 – Tighten your glutes and straighten your pelvis

Step 4 – Keep the tension as in picture 2 as long as possible

3 sets of 15 reps each

Exercise ➁ – Raise the pelvis

Raise the pelvis

Step 1 – Lie stretched out on your back on the floor

Step 2 – Stretch your arms out to the sides, parallel to your body

Step 3 – Bend your legs, heels on the floor

Step 4 – Push pelvis/buttocks up, tense and lower again

3 sets of 20 reps each

Exercise ➂ The quadruped

The quadruped

Step 1 – Kneel on the mat, place your hands on the floor at shoulder level, keeping your back straight

Step 2 – Feet are planted, weight is shifted to toes

Step 3 – Raise your knees up a few inches as if your pelvis were being pulled straight up on a rope

Step 4 – Slightly lower your knees again without touching the floor.

3 sets of 15 reps each

Exercise ➃ – Raise your legs

raise your legs

Step 1 – Lie on your back on the floor

Step 2 – Lay your arms on the floor along your sides

Step 3 – Raise your legs alternately, hold them briefly, and lower them again

3 sets of 20 reps each

Exercise ➄ – Tighten your legs

Tighten the legs

Step 1 – Lie on your back on the floor

Step 2 – Lay your arms on the floor along your sides

Step 3 – pull your legs up alternately, hold them briefly, and lower them again

3 sets of 20 reps each

Train your pelvic floor with circuit training

If you want to train particularly effectively, you should stick to the following circuit scheme during your pelvic floor training

✔ You do one round of each exercise and then switch to the next.

✔ A circuit is complete when you have done each exercise once.

✔ You repeat the circle three times.

✔ You take a 1-minute break between the circles.

So, what are you waiting for? Roll out the mat and start your training for better sex! Isn’t that enough for you? Then click here and learn how you can improve your sex life with the right diet.

CHAPTER 2 – The best foods for potency and libido

It is well known that love goes through the stomach. This can also be noticeable in sex life – provided you eat the right foods. You can find out here which foods can help you to have better sex!

Healthy plate
Healthy Dish | Brooke Lark – Unsplash

Foods for Better Sex

A balanced diet rich in vitamins not only helps you to have a healthy and vital body – your sex life also benefits from it. Diseases that cause erectile dysfunction and impotence, such as cardiovascular diseases or diabetes, can be prevented through a balanced diet and a healthy lifestyle⁷.

Some foods are particularly tough: with the right diet, for example, a man’s potency and libido can be increased. In addition, eating certain foods, such as fruits such as strawberries or citrus fruits⁸, can reduce the risk of developing erectile dysfunction or impotence. No wonder some foods have been used as aphrodisiacs or sexual enhancers for thousands of years in various cultures around the world⁹.

Groceries in the bedroom

Not only do foods come in handy in the bedroom by increasing potency and libido, they also offer an exciting way to spice up foreplay.

Sweet foods such as liquid chocolate, cream or berries are particularly suitable for this. Simply distribute the sweet sins on your partner’s erogenous zones and lick them off with relish. Special effects, such as sparkling champagne or cooling ice, can make lovemaking even more exciting and stimulating.

So to all those with a sweet tooth: Just try it out and spoil all your senses!

Food for the perfect blow job

The taste of your sperm is highly dependent on your diet. Coffee, cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, and aspirin all change the taste negatively. The same applies to various types of cabbage, asparagus, and dishes spiced with garlic or spicy. Meat also has a negative effect: the semen becomes sticky and tastes tart and bitter. If that isn’t a turnoff!

Just as you can worsen the taste and consistency of your sperm, you can also sweeten it – with sugar… A wide variety of fruits are suitable for this, such as melons, kiwis, papayas, or lemons – but pineapples are particularly popular! Furthermore, cinnamon, cardamom, peppermint, parsley, and celery are said to make a blowjob a more pleasant experience.

CHAPTER 3 – Mental health for better and longer sex

A healthy psyche is a prerequisite for good sex. If the psyche is shattered, you have to act quickly so that you don’t get caught in a vicious circle of stress, anxiety, and erectile dysfunction.

Man sits on the jetty
man on jetty | Simon Migaj – Unsplash

mental health and sex

Sex makes you happy. Various happy hormones such as endorphin and oxytocin are released before, during, and after sex. These hormones make you happy (who would have thought?) and create feelings of trust and security¹².

It is therefore too bad that in the case of psychological problems, such as depression, the desire for sex and the ability to have an erection disappear ¹³, and thus a pleasant therapy option for the cracked psyche is lost. At the same time, problems in bed are often the cause of mental problems and stress. Erectile dysfunction can trigger pressure to perform, partnership problems, and fear of failure¹⁴.

Anyone who is caught in such a vicious circle between erectile dysfunction and psychological problems can hardly get out again. It is all the more important to communicate openly about your problems and to learn how to effectively deal with negative stress.

Mental factors that can lead to sexual reluctance and erectile dysfunction

The psyche is the most powerful human organ. When it’s broken, the desire for sex and the ability to get an erection can disappear. The reasons for this are varied and can vary in severity. Here are some examples:

  • mental illnesses, eg depression and anxiety disorders
  • expectations that are too high, pressure to perform, fear of failure
  • Conflicts at work or in private life (especially in the partnership)
  • Sexual inhibitions and phobias
  • Self-esteem issues, complexes
  • sexual preferences that differ from those of the partner
  • religious or cultural inhibitions
  • experienced sexual abuse in childhood
  • Fear of pregnancy or an STD

Linked to all of these psychological factors is one component: stress.

What does stress have to do with sex?

Negative stress activates all flight and fight impulses via the sympathetic nervous system. In order to save energy, the body reduces digestion and the activity of the reproductive organs. The result is less pleasure. At the same time, stress hormones such as epinephrine and norepinephrine cause the blood vessels to contract. This makes it more difficult for the blood to flow into the cavernous bodies of the penis and the erection fails – so you can’t get it up anymore.

Increasing concerns about one’s sexual performance can further aggravate erectile dysfunction and trigger emotional distress… It’s a vicious cycle.

How to break the vicious circle?

In order to break the vicious circle between stress, pressure to perform, and erectile dysfunction, one should, first of all, clarify with a doctor whether the sexual problems are based on organic causes or are of a psychological nature.

✔ Mental problems are usually caused when sexual problems occur very suddenly and are linked to a specific experience or event. If the psyche is to blame, nocturnal erections continue to occur in men; in addition, the ability to masturbate remains.

If the psyche is partly to blame for erectile dysfunction, it is important to face the mental causes. Open communication between you and your partner is essential for this. This can be supported by sex therapists or psychotherapists if necessary. Other contact points for stress-related sexual problems are clinics and doctors as well as self-help groups and therapy groups that have made your problem a topic. Another important aspect of breaking the vicious circle is restructuring the environment and learning stress management strategies.

Stress management for better sex

Stress-related erectile dysfunction can be eliminated with a simple and effective method: by learning stress management strategies. These help you to calm your body and your psyche and to distance yourself from the stressor.

These are the best tricks to manage stress :

➀ Accept your stressful state

Insight is the first step to improvement. Become aware of your own stress level and acknowledge that you are overwhelmed.

➁ Words carry weight

Change your attitude and replace negative thoughts with positive ones.

➂ Take time to do nothing

And without a guilty conscience!

➃ Do sports.

Exercise reduces stress hormones and releases happiness hormones. At the same time, the distraction allows the mind to rest for a few minutes. Above all, endurance sports such as jogging ensure relaxation and balance.

➄ Eat a healthy and balanced diet.

Many people tend to overeat caffeine when they are stressed. This not only harms your energy levels and body but also your sexual abilities.

➅ Practice time management

The organization is the be-all and end-all to prevent stress:

  • Create to-do lists and set priorities!
  • Schedule relaxation and exercise.
  • Identify disruptive stimuli, e.g. social media during work.

The top 5 relaxation techniques

Relaxation exercises help to gain new energy, to withdraw from environmental stimuli, or focus on solving a problem.

  • Mindfulness exercises (concentration, e.g. on the breath)
  • Thought stop (getting out of the thought carousel)
  • Progressive muscle relaxation (tensing and relaxing muscles to release tension)
  • meditation
  • Movement in Yoga, Thai Chi, and Qigong‍

❗ As you can see, you are not alone with your problem and you are not in a hopeless situation. However, it is important that you do something for yourself and your mental state – because then your bedroom will quickly become a refuge for lust and passion again!

CHAPTER 4 – With little helpers to big orgasms!

You don’t necessarily have to change your entire lifestyle to have better sex. Simple tricks and tools often help to bring new momentum into the bedroom!

Lifebuoy | Matthew Waring – Unsplash

Fast help for better and longer sex

In the first 3 chapters of the sex guide, you have already learned the best methods to increase your erection ability and improve your sex life. This includes training your potency muscles, changing your diet, and incorporating potency-enhancing foods, as well as dealing with stress and psychological problems.

However, all these methods have a catch: they do not work overnight. Building muscles, changing your diet, tackling psychological challenges… It all takes time. However, that doesn’t mean you have to put your sex life on hold until then.

In the following, we will introduce you to simple and effective methods that can alternatively or temporarily solve your difficulties in bed. In this way, you can bridge the time in which you implement the advice of the guide from the first 3 weeks and at the same time bring excitement and variety into the bedroom. So, have fun trying it out!

‍ Simple solutions for longer sex

In some cases, simple tricks during intercourse are enough to delay ejaculation or to intensify lovemaking. And the best thing about it is: The methods are also fun and bring variety to the bedroom – a win-win situation.

➀ Distraction
The “think-of-something-other-than-sex” method is popular and effective for blocking out a premature climax. But be careful: your thoughts shouldn’t turn you off either, otherwise, your erection will quickly be a thing of the past!

➁ Two are better than one
Was the first lap over too quickly? Here’s the solution: Take a short rest and start the second round: Here the strongest excitement has already subsided and you will definitely last longer!

➂ Karezza technique

You stop during sex after a few thrusts but stay inside her/him. Then you stimulate the sexual partner with your hands. Your penis comes to rest and you are full of energy again when the climax is approaching.

➃ Rotate instead of in-out

By rotating the pelvis during sex, the penis is stimulated less intensely than with the thrusting movement. Your partner, on the other hand, will be more stimulated vaginally or anally than usual. A win-win situation.

➄ Try something new

Role-playing games, a new place, a new position – all of this brings momentum into your sex life and tears you and your partner out of the routine processes – maybe also out of the premature orgasm?

➅ Squeezing technique

As you approach climax, squeeze your thumb and forefinger around the penis below the glans. This closes the urethra and stops the urge to ejaculate.

➆ Jen-Mo point

This point is between the testicles and the anus. Squeezing can induce orgasm without ejaculation, maintaining an erection.

➇ Start-stop method

As you approach climax during masturbation or sex, stop until the urge to ejaculate has wholly subsided. Then you stimulate yourself again. Masturbators can also help with this.

‍ sex toys

Using sex toys is not only fun on its own: these small tools can also be used to spice up and prolong sexual intercourse with your partner.

➀ Dildos, love balls, and co.

If you’re having trouble with your best piece, that doesn’t mean your partner has to suffer. If something goes wrong, you can spoil your partner with sex toys. This can prevent the build-up of frustration and pressure that you have to “function” again.

➁ Penis pump

The penis pump is suitable for patients whose penis does not erect naturally. The pump creates a vacuum, which allows blood to flow into the penis. If the penis is stiff, putting on a penis ring can prevent blood from flowing back.

Cock Ring

Penis rings congest the blood in the penis. This allows an erection to be maintained and strengthened and prevents an orgasm that is too early or too rapid.
Tip: Try a penis ring with vibration, so you both have twice as much fun!

‍ Medicines and medical solutions

If you keep suffering from erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation, medical remedies – such as medication or special devices – can help.

Viagra, Cialis & Co

The active ingredients contained in the drugs such as tadalafil (Cialis) and sildenafil (Viagra) are so-called PDE-5 inhibitors. They help with erectile dysfunction by increasing muscle relaxation and blood flow in the body (including the penis). The drugs differ in how quickly they take effect, how long they last, and how well they are tolerated. Although these medications require a prescription, they can now be ordered discreetly at home via online diagnoses.

Psychotropic drugs

In addition to the treatment of depression, special psychotropic drugs can also help with erectile dysfunction by delaying the climax during sexual intercourse as a side effect. The selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor dapoxetine, which also requires a prescription and is sold under the brand name Priligy, is particularly well known.

➂ Cavernous Autoinjection Therapy (SKAT )

With SKAT, the patient injects vasodilating agents directly into the erectile tissue of his penis, causing an erection. This method is also effective if the nerve tracts required for an erection are disturbed – for example in the case of paraplegia.

➃ Medicated Urethral System (MUSE )

Patients insert a mini tablet into the urethra using an insertion instrument. The blood flow in the erectile tissue is increased by the active ingredient it contains.


Creams and sprays are used as local anesthetics to reduce the sensitivity of the penis. The feeling during sex is only influenced to a limited extent. This way the fun factor is maintained and you can still…

➅ Condoms

Play with the size and thickness of your condom: if the condom is wide or very thin, you will feel more intensely and come faster. On the other hand, your climax will be delayed if the condom is very tight or if the material is thicker. You can also use irritation-reducing condoms: These are coated on the inside with slightly anesthetic agents.

➆ Penile prosthesis

If nothing helps, there is always the penile prosthesis. The cavernous bodies of the penis are replaced by implants, which are filled by a pump if necessary.

And that concludes our Sexe guide. Your journey to more fun in bed is only just beginning.

The explanations and lists of possible treatment options are purely informative and do not replace consultation with your doctor or the explanations about the intake, mode of action, and side effects from the product-specific leaflet.

Isabel D White

Isabel D White

Isabel led the Royal Marsden Hospital (London) psychosexual therapy service until 2019. She works in partnership with individuals & couples to explore physical, emotional & relationship factors that contribute to sexual difficulties after cancer. These include: low desire, erection, arousal or orgasmic difficulties, sexual pain & sexual avoidance. She adopts an integrative approach to personalized therapy using psychosexual therapy (sensate focus framework), biomedical management (erectile dysfunction medication & devices, menopause & vaginal health strategies, sexual aids) & psychoeducation.

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